Broken Pieces
by Angel of Fire SG1
Summary: He’d watched her walk away, he'd let it get this far and now it was his only chance to get her back…(S-J)


**Summary: **_He'd__ watched her walk away, now was his last chance to bring her back…_

**Pairings: **_Sam/Jack, Sam/Pete_

**Rating: **_PG_

**Spoilers: **_Everything_

**Disclaimer: **_They don't belong to me – I'm just borrowing them to provide entertainment to people, most of whom will probably be avoiding doing homework or something along that line…:D_

**_Broken Pieces_**

****

_A wedding_.

She couldn't even remember the last time she'd been at a wedding. Yet now here she stood, watching herself in the mirror, waiting for the moment to come. The clock ticked slowly away behind her, every second lasting longer than she could comprehend.

Her cream colored wedding dress seemed foreign on her. When she had first bought it she had been excited, it had been a moment she'd dreamed of for a long time. But sitting in this room, watching her reflection silently, it seemed less a source of excitement as a source of anxiety.

What was she doing here? This was out of her comfort zone, she didn't belong in a dress at a wedding. She belonged on other planets, fighting aliens she could barely pronounce the name of. She enjoyed her life the way it was, whatever had possessed her to change it?

Not that this affected her life directly, nothing would change. Except him. Things would be different between them now. She hadn't seen him for the past week, he'd given her the time off to get ready and neither of them had made the effort to see each other.

She slipped the silver necklace into her hand and raised it to her neck. She felt as if she shouldn't be wearing it, but it was all she could give him, as it was all he could give her. She held the open clip at the back of her neck for a long moment, as if contemplating whether or not she should wear it.

There was a knock on the door and she jumped slightly, allowing the clip to close around the necklace, the cold metal falling against her neck. She froze for a moment, suspecting.

"Come in," she said, her words forced, the emotions inside her overwhelming her ability to think straight.

The door creaked open and she sensed the slow movement of someone hesitant about being where they were. She looked up at the reflection in the mirror, her eyes immediately meeting his.

"Hey Carter," he smiled at her, although it seemed forced.

There was a sadness reflected in his face, something she felt from beneath her. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill stood awkwardly in the small dressing room, his baggy pants and over-sized leather jacket revealing his true reason for coming.

He walked over and sat down on the chair opposite her.

"Thanks for the necklace, sir," Sam said.

Jack flinched at the _'sir'_, but didn't look up. He pulled at a piece of loose fabric on the arm of the chair, trying to avoid looking at her.

"I was hoping you'd like it," he said.

She watched him, studying him carefully. He was nervous, shown by the fact that he was fiddling with the ripped fabric, he also wasn't planning on attending the wedding, shown by his choice in attire. She felt a stab of hurt that he wasn't coming. If she could have only picked one person to be at her wedding it would be him, and here he was, basically showing her he wouldn't come.

Nothing she could say would change that.

She'd hurt him, and now he was going to show her how it felt. Not that she blamed him. Emotional pain radiated from him, hitting her like a sonic boom. The realisation of what he must be feeling doubled the sadness already weighing down on her.

He would never have agreed to marry someone else.

He looked up and Sam diverted her eyes away, fiddling with her hands.

"You look great," he said after a few moments.

"Thank you," she replied instantly, on purposely leaving off the 'sir' that was playing so closely on her lips.

Again there was silence. Sam felt tears beginning to push their way out, not wanting to cry she blinked a few times, willing them to go away. She tried to change her thoughts, trying to think of Pete, of the happiness she should be feeling towards him on that day.

It didn't help. Instead thoughts of spending the rest of her life with Pete entered her thoughts. The urge to cry was becoming overwhelming. She wanted to stand up and run out of the room, to escape her problems. On the other had she didn't want to leave, leaving this room meant walking into a room full of hopeful people, her father was there, having been pulled off a Tok'ra mission to walk her down the aisle.

She didn't want to let them down. She didn't want to be a failure. It was a choice between disappointing everyone in the room, or disappointing the person in front of her.

"Sam…" he said, pausing.

She looked up, regretfully meeting his eyes. She couldn't look away. The use of her first name breaking down the unspoken of barrier they'd built between each other. The 'Carter's', the 'sirs', all of it at feeble attempt at hiding from something they'd both felt for so long.

She waited, knowing there were so many things he had to say. So many things he had never said. So many things he shouldn't say. So many things left too late…

"I should go," he said, quietly, standing up and turning towards the door.

"No," she grabbed his arm, not wanting him to leave.

She felt a flash of familiarity in their words.

_"Sir just go!"_

_"NO!"_

It had been four years since that moment, but she would never forget the look in his eyes. The realisation by him how he felt, how she felt the same in return. She shook the memory from her mind, not needing the extra emotions.

He looked down at her hand on his arm. The touch of her hand against his jacket seeming to shock him. The unusual contact between them sparking something inside of both of them.

"You're not coming," Sam stated.

"I can't," Jack said, looking up to meet her eyes.

"I want you there," Sam said, letting her hand slip down his arm into his.

He didn't look down, but he acknowledge her hand by intertwining his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand slightly. She let her own fingers close around his hand.

"I can't, Sam….I can't watch…" he choked on his words and looked away.

She looked at him for a long moment. He was watching the wall carefully, thinking, trying not to show his emotions. The fact he was standing there was more than she had ever expected. Jack O'Neill didn't show emotions, not unless he had good reason.

She felt the need to lean forward and hug him, to comfort him in a way she had thought would never be possible. She felt his grip on her hand tighten. Not wanting to let go. He turned to face her again, the sadness in his eyes seeming to make them darker. Almost black.

She pulled her hand away from his and put her arms around his neck, leaning forward and hugging him. She was on the verge of tears, still trying to push them away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She felt him placing his arms around her back, holding her tightly. She didn't expect a response, didn't want one. They were too close as it was, words could only put them in further danger. His grip around her tightened as he rested his head on her shoulder, the same as hers rested on his.

"I love you."

She froze in her position, not sure she had heard the words correctly. She didn't want to let herself have heard those words. It complicated things even further than they had already been complicated. They had been spoken so quietly it was almost as if he hadn't wanted her to hear them, yet he had felt the need to say it out loud. More of a confirmation to himself than anything.

She swallowed hard and leaned back, looking into his eyes.

"What?" she asked.

He didn't reply, didn't move, seeming to be as shocked as she was that he had spoken the forbidden words. Speechless he let his hands slide to her shoulders and then up her neck to cup her face. Their feelings had taken over, there was no thoughts of marriage, of Pete, of regulations. They were two people with intensely strong feelings, sharing their last chance to ever show them.

She felt drawn to him, wanting to kiss him, to hold him and never let go. She slid her hand up to hold his face, tracing across his lips with her thumb. No words had to be spoken, no words could be spoken.

Danger alarms were going off in the back of Sam's mind, but she seemed to be unable to register them, they seemed like an unimportant warning that wouldn't mean anything until it was too late.

She leaned even further forward, moving her hand to the back of his neck, feeling his face so close to hers she was breathing his air. She felt the brush of his lips against hers, she leaned in the few millimetres and kissed him softly. He kissed back, neither of them thinking about what they were doing. It became more and more intense, the years of bottled up emotions falling over the edge like a frozen waterfall being instantly melted.

There was a knock at the door, instantly bringing them back to reality. Sam pulled back slightly, resting her forehead against his, not wanting the moment to end.

Jack sighed and dropped his hands by his side, leaning back, staring directly into her eyes. She looked away, walking to the door and pulling it open. She smiled.

"Hey Daniel," she said, forcefully.

"Uh, hey…hi Jack," Daniel said.

Jack nodded in acknowledgement. Daniel obviously sensed the tension in the room, and jumping to conclusions suddenly seemed less interested in entering the room.

"I just wanted to say good luck, and we'll see you in there…." Daniel said, smiling. "Bye."

"Thanks," Sam said. "I'll see you…"

She couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence. In the wedding? She watched as Daniel walked off and slowly shut the door, trying to waste time before having to turn around and face what had just happened. Back in reality it all seemed to make less sense. She wondered what had made her do what she stupidly just had.

Turning around seeing him, she knew why. She loved him, more than Pete, more than anyone. But it didn't make sense for them to be together.

"Why are you here?" Sam asked.

He gestured with his hand, as if it were supposed to mean something to her, then he shrugged. "I don't want….I don't want to lose you…"

_"I'd rather die myself than lose Carter."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I care about her, a lot more than I'm supposed to."_

Sam avoided looking at him. She didn't know what to do, didn't know how to handle what had changed in the past few moments.

"Yeah…" Jack said, as if deciding that had been what he had wanted to say.

She stared at his shoes, knowing that how she'd felt while kissing Jack had meant a hundred times more to her than any time she had ever kissed Pete. She had fun with Pete, she liked him…but that was it. She didn't love him, not in the way that she loved Jack.

"I'm sorry," Sam said.

"I know," Jack replied.

He walked past her, pulling open the door. 'I'm sorry' obviously not being the reaction that he had been hoping for. He paused for a moment without turning around.

"I'll see you at work on Monday, good luck with the wedding Carter," he said, pulling the door shut behind him and walking out.

Sam turned to face the door, and within a moment found herself punch it, over and over, wanting to cause pain, not wanting to have to deal with this. Not now. Not ever.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this…

**OoO**

The church hall fell silent as the music started. Pete Shanahan stood at the front of the aisle, fiddling nervously with his jacket sleeve. He glanced at his watch and then up at the back of the church. The doors remained closed.

Daniel sat, staring directly at his feet, knowing. He'd felt it in that room. There was no way that Sam was walking out of that door. He knew how she felt, how they both felt.

So did Pete.

To Daniel it had always seemed like wishful thinking, by Sam and by Pete. He had been surprised to receive the wedding invitation in the mail, surprised that it had gotten this far. But not once had he truly believed, truly let it sink in, that she was marrying Pete.

Because he knew better.

He continued to watch the floor as the entire church began to turn around and watch the door expectantly. He heard it creak open, but still didn't turn around. He felt Teal'c turn at the sound of the door. And then he felt the silent shock vibrate around the room as realisation dawned on the others.

She wasn't coming.

Daniel finally turned around, seeing Jacob standing alone at the end of the aisle. Seeing Pete out of the corner of his eye, his shoulders slumping and finally him sitting down in the front row, unable to stand up any longer.

He turned back around, choosing to stare at his feet.

Someone was always going to get hurt.

That was the problem with love.

**OoO**

**A/N: **_I wrote this in English the other day, not really paying much attention to the essay lecture (the same one we've been getting for the past 4 years)…hope you enjoyed…feedback is always nice._


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